Where else you can find me

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Thank you for coming by to read my post. Alternatively, you may want to visit me at http://abundanceinbiz.com for more great content posts and visual.

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To your Abundance,
Sandy :)

Employer vs Employee Mindset

As it has often been said, "Employer mindset vs Employee mindset".

Whether you are a business owner or an employee, it doesn't really make much a difference. What matters most is your mindset.

There are employers behaving like employees whereas there are also employees act and carry out jobs, bringing in great results simply because they think how a successful employer would think, act and speak like one.

They have great aspirations and dreams to achieve. They take initiatives and appropriate actions by learning what it takes to get there. And still be humble.

The teacher can teach you how to fish. You got to learn and fish yourself.

This is the reality in the real world we are living everyday. Do you want to do the same old things day in day out or do you want to grow as you grow each day?

Personally, I encourage myself to constantly learn new things to develop myself better. 

'Just Whack and Do it' is my personal motto! You never know if you can do it until you take the first step.

I allow myself to step out of my comfort zone. Of course, it's never easy. In fact, it's challenging. But giving yourself the opportunity makes a BIG difference.

So I highly encourage you to step out and explore.

It may be taking up new hobbies, visit new places, try new food, make new friends, attend courses or seminars just to know what's happening in your or other industries.

If you are an introvert and would like to meet and network with fellow introverts, there is actually a specific Meetup group in Singapore just for you. Go to Meetup.com and look for this unique and vibrant INTROVERT group (yes, vibrant!!) - "Networking Just For Introverts"

Extroverts... you will find your way to what excites you I am sure :)

Talking about Networking, it is not just for business people. General workers can network too. Most importantly, you need to know what you are looking for. If you are not sure what to do, by all means just start with joining an Interest group and work from there. 

There are people who meet their prospective employers or clients through networking. So the possibilities are there waiting.

After all, whether you are an employer or employee, your mindset is your great asset, if not the greatest.

You can have a meaningful life ONLY when you allow it.

All the best!

How To Survive During Internet Downtime

Gosh....I just realized how much I have actually relied on the internet that any downtime has the power to paralyze my work, my communication with the outside world (alright...my 'virtual community' to be exact). 

And yes ...I am actually checking it every other minute to see if the line is up. Can't believe it! Although Singapore is considered highly wired and has one of the top connecting speed in the world, unexpected things do happen.

Options??? Solutions??? I gather that...

First thing first, Technical troubleshoot. 

• Check your internet connection. Sometimes, it could be just a loose cable.
• Check if broadband is working, if router is connected properly to the modem. 
• Reboot the modem.
• Still nothing happens, call service provider technical helpdesk for HELP!

If it's just your Smartphone issue, try Power Off and On it again. 

If resolve, great. If still can't resolve immediately but to wait for technician to arrive, meaning you have some spare time....then READ ON.

As we depend so much on our internet connection, I thought of a few practical things you can do to survive the downtime.

Writing, put your thoughts in document file first, then upload once the line is back (Like what I am doing now). With this, at least your thoughts are being captured and stored instead of waiting because chances are good that some of your ideas might be forgotten if not record immediately, unless you have a superb memory. 

And as we may not know how long the stall is going to be so better to write them down. 

Chat, go back to basic. Make physical calls, resort to SMS instead of Whatsapp, Line, FB PM, Messenger etc.. ONLY IF the phone line is functioning and not affected.

Surfing the net...hold it. You can't get any results anyway so you may want to just make a wishlist and do it later once up.

Reading, finally you have the time to read your long downloaded ebooks or reports which you haven't been able to find time to read.

Watching, same goes for movies, talk show etc. Instead of YouTube, now you can go back to your DVD players or simply...well...the 'other' screen, ie. TV!

Great chance for your precious eyes to take a break from the computer or smartphone screen and do any other things. Yes, any other things as long nothing to do with internet. Literally! 

You can go for a walk, do exercise, go watch movie, play with your kids, your pets, meet a friend, whatever. Just don't keep thinking about your internet.

It can be kind of weird feeling and maybe uncomfortable but you are liberated. Except maybe for those who must follow and monitor market movement. This group I guess will have more stress than the rest of us!

So much from me...anything you want to add to the list are more than welcome.

We have survived those pre-internet days for so long and I am confident that we can survive it now. Just a bit of getting used to it, that's all. Who knows, you may actually like it.

Happy 'adjusting' day!
You can do it! :)

Oh.. by the way, if it's just YOUR own internet issue, you may want to bring your iPad / Laptop / Smartphone to somewhere with Free WI-FI access and...

Voila! It's still Business As Usual! *wink* 

Stress begets Stress!

What do you do when you are stress or under pressure?

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being lowest and 10 being highest), where do you rate yourself in terms of stress tolerance level. I rate myself 5.

How do you react when things don't go your away? How about last minute changes to be made and it's urgent?

How do you behave when you are under a pressing deadline? Do you get nervous as the deadline gets closer? Agitated? Frustrated? Panic? Voice suddenly got louder?

I found myself getting stressed each day. I have the challenge of getting to destination on time, and yes, it is embarrassing. Each day is a chore to get my daughter to school. I do lose my cool when I get stress up and it is.... not good..

Stress begets Stress!

Cultivating a good habit is important. More important so to cultivate it from young. So I get more stressed when I know I am not setting a good example for my daughter to follow.

Yes, I do feel vulnerable by revealing this to you but by doing so, I am giving myself the pressure to becoming a better person. It makes me feel good. Elevates my self-esteem.

I announce that I shall be on time from the next appointment onwards!

Mind you, there were many times when I was early and I would like to now improve it to EVERYTIME!!

I read somewhere recently that ALL successful people have the habit of being punctual or arriving before time.

Talking about punctuality, I am always flabbergasted by the punctuality of guests to local (Singapore) wedding functions.

It may indicate on the invitation card that Cocktail serves at 645pm, Dinner will start exactly at 730pm. Urging guests to be on time.

But there are still many arriving at the dinner way past 8 or 830pm and as a result the dinner can only commence around then. I had been to 1 or 2 that started dinner only at around 845pm or later and ended just sometime before midnight.

This practice is not being fair to those who come early and as a result, they also come late for subsequent dinners they are going as they don't expect the rest to be early and it spirals on. Hence, the Culture is formed.

I would like to believe that the trend is improving in recent years. More Hosts decide to go ahead and start on time and the function venue (hotels, restaurant, clubs etc) are also pressured to end the event early to avoid overtime compensation to staff. Some even pass on the compensation to Hosts so it gives more pressure for the Hosts to start on time.

Personally, I usually arrive at the venue on time or the most, 5-10mins later than stipulated time. I try not to be later than that because

1. First, it doesn't look good on me or whoever I am going with. 
2. Second, the host is already uncertain if the guests will be on time and the very least we can do is not to give them the extra pressure. 
3. Third, we definitely don't wish to stay late so hopefully everyone can come early like us and the dinner can start and end early.

I always remember one particular dinner incident I attended years ago. It was my then colleague's wedding.

Because we were in the retail business, those attending either took off or annual leave or got special permission to leave earlier on that day. I was working on that day so the few of us (if I remember correctly it was 5 of us) left earlier to doll up.

I don't remember the nitty gritty details but what I do remember clearly was that I was so anxious when approaching the time we were expected to arrive but my fellow colleagues were still taking their own sweet time to doll up.

I couldn't stand the delay and told them I would go there by myself first.

I considered myself late by arriving about 20mins past the stipulated time but I wasn't surprised to find the hall was just half-filled. It might have given me some comfort (at least I was consider one of those early arrivals) but the delay was enough to make me feel uncomfortable and somewhat embarrassing.

I like to be considered and seen as one of those early ones when come to attending functions and events and I always make it a point to do so.

The dinner commenced about half an hour later. I kept looking around to see if my fellow colleagues who were with me earlier had arrived but no sight of them. Finally, they arrived around 930pm, which was halfway through the dinner! I couldn't understand how some people could actually do that without feeling any sign of guilt...

Surely, actions reflect individuals.

In contrast, I have been to a few wedding dinners in Malaysia and the ones that impressed me most were from my husband's hometown in Perak.

Wedding dinner was slated to start at 630pm and given the norm we usually would experience in Singapore, I was very surprised to find that almost, if not ALL guests were seated 5-10 minutes before time to welcome the newly wed (alright, I was told that it's usually the bride that they are more interested to get a glimpse on ;))

The point is, they RESPECT the Hosts, the respect the newly wed. It's the couple's BIG day, they want to bless them, and by being early is a way of showing that.

I was impressed and it's a reflection for myself. Do I want others to be late on me? NO. So, I shall be on time for others.

Respecting others is respecting self!

This is especially true in business meeting. If you can't be on time for meetings, how can I trust that you would deliver the projects that I entrust you.

Sure, there are times when we rush from one meeting to another meeting due to spill over from earlier meetings. So it's always important to have a buffer of time in between.

Having a good habit and commitment to arrive on time is important. It gives you less stress!

Long fuse Short fuse Which one are you?

Are you a Hot babe? a Cool banana? or are you simply Lukewarm plain water??

If given a choice, which one would you rather be?

Just look at the people around you. How are their temperaments like? Do you agree that it can be infectious and your environment does have the power to influence how you behave and react?

Yes, I know some saint ones have the will power to be in control of their behaviour and temperaments.

Always focus in the NOW, they say.
Be AWARE of your thoughts.
Breathe and count to 10 before you take any action.
Focus on the Other person, and
Always give people the Benefit of Doubt etc.

Yes, easier said than done BUT it's not unachievable.

We do see and hear of the irreversible damage how some short fused have created and how we wish they had never happened to anyone.

Like the story that has gone somewhat viral in the social media on this 4yr old boy who scratched his father's car with some stone he picked up on the floor while his father was polishing the car.

The father got so angry that he grabbed his son's hand and hit it many times without realising that he was hitting the boy with a wrench. The child's fingers were broken and permanently lost.

In the hospital, the child asked his father with painful eyes, when would his fingers grow back.

Devastated and speechless, the father went back and sat in front of his car. Then he realized what his son had actually done. He scratched  "LOVE YOU DAD"!

Some versions ended the story with the father committed suicide.

Honestly I don't know if he did and if the story was real. But to give it the benefit of doubt and assuming it's real, it's an outcome that can be avoided.

Many people have successfully overcome their short fuse temperament by becoming more AWARE of their emotions and LETTING GO of their EGO and 'small self' and move on to becoming a happier person.

If we learn to be more PATIENT each day and take things lightly, make conscious efforts to NOT ATTACHING to our worldly goods, we feel lighter.

As it has often been said, "We come with nothing, we go with nothing."

Take things easy. The world will be a better place to live.

The world, your world, is WITHIN YOU!

And you have the ABSOLUTE POWER to change the world!

Gold Peel or Gold Appeal?

I got my very first gold ‘consumer’ product few days ago. I would have preferred it to be a Gold Bar which would mean more valuable instead of a Gold Peel! Gold Peel?? Yes, it’s a facial product that contains gold flakes (24k gold) that claims to be one of the secrets to the beauty of the ancient Egypt queen Cleopatra. In this article, I share with you my firsthand experience on how I ended up ’invested’ in this product, the sales approach and how I think it can be done better.

I was in this shopping mall in the western part of Singapore two days ago (a Saturday morning slightly before 10am), where retail businesses were just beginning. I was walking along the pathway and caught a glimpse of this opened shop from a distance. The pinkish deco caught my eyes and I thought it looked quite beautiful (I was only seeing the top part of the shop because there was a massive blocked view between us). I tipped toe hoping to get a better view but it didn’t help much so I made an u-turn to get a good look. And because that was the only alternate way to get to my destination, I had to pass by that shop.

I saw a young lady handing out sample to me as I was walking in her direction. Ah, so it was a shop selling those Dead Sea skincare products from Israel. I was apprehensive but this saleslady approached and handed me the small sample tube. I took it and had a look, it was a body lotion. I thought why not just gave it a try. I mentioned “Hand lotion”, she heard me and suggested to show me some product and walked me to her shop, which was just a few steps ahead. She quickly went into the shop and gotten a green tube and squeezed something onto the back of my left palm. I stood there and wondering what’s next. She was expecting me to follow her into the shop while I was waiting for her to hand me something to wipe it off. Seeing I wasn’t moving, she invited me into the shop. Immediately, thousands of things went through my mind. I felt like a fish caught on bait being pulled into the hand of the predator! I thought what a great strategy they had. The only way to remove the scrub (by now I knew what it was) was to go into the shop and wash it off because there were taps and basins in there, waiting. Brilliant! Alright, I thought. I followed and went in. She told me to rub both hands with the scrub she had put on for me. Come to think about it, I was carrying a large shopping bag in one hand and she didn’t offer to help! Anyway, I struggled a little with the shopping bag, managed to carry it over my shoulder and started scrubbing my hands and washed it off. Now, having been in the skin care industry for several years working with one of the Top product choices of both skin care professionals and consumers worldwide, immediately I knew this was a relatively good and effective product that they were selling.

The next thing she told me: “Now you may apply lotion after scrubbing. Do you like the flower or fruity type?” (My antennae quickly went up. She was leading me and not giving me a choice of exit. Hmmm…. Interesting). I told her, “Doesn’t matter” She hesitated for a while didn’t seem to know what to do, so she suggested the one same as the sample she gave me earlier, Flower. This was being observed by the Outlet Manager who was near by. In fact, he had just finished washing his face at the next basin while I was busy scrubbing and washing my hands. He asked me: “How’s my skin, ma’m?” (He was a Philippine national by the accent). My reply was quite dry: “Good, of course”. In fact, as I was washing my hands and the saleslady walked over to the other side of the counter, I saw the manager gave her a signal indicating what to do next. (Which I didn’t feel very comfortable about)

As the saleslady was waiting for my interest in her products, she asked if I would like to get one. I asked if there was any sample for face. She went behind me to the other counter. From there, she scooped some gel from a bottle and applied it on my left inner forearm. Let it stayed on for a while and started rubbing. As she was rubbing, some ‘dirts’ came off of my skin. She said now I saw this much dead skin cells came off my skin, it would be worse if I apply it to the face. (Hmm… I thought… was that a scare tactic or was it simply something that she came up with. I didn’t think the company would have taught her to say that without any basis.) She explained that it was a Gold Peel and mentioned that the Gold was from Germany and made in Italy. I wasn’t really interested and again asked if there was any sample for the face. In fact, I was standing there pondering, looking at my own skin into the wall mirror for a while, waiting for her respond. She said there was no sample for face as we got to experience the products firsthand over the counter here. I told her I would try the body lotion sample she gave me and started walking towards the door.

As I was about to step out of the shop, the manager quickly came up close to me (which actually gave me a shocked as I wasn’t expecting) and asked if he could show me something for my eyebag. Said that I didn’t have to buy anything. He just wanted to show me. I thought interesting, he was observant and really wanted to make this a close deal. He had been observing and gathered that products for the eye areas might be something of interest to me. He said again, “You don’t have to buy anything” and started walking into the shop, inviting me to follow. Once again, I followed and felt like the fish again. This time, it was to the deepest part of the shop. Oh no, the ‘electric chair’ was waiting, I thought.

He got me to sit down, asked when was the last time I went for facial, what product was I using for my face etc. I told him I used lotion for the face, he was shocked: “Lotion?? Lotion is for body!” And started scooping some eye cream ready to apply over my right eye area. I told him I couldn’t stay long (which was true). He didn’t seem to hear it! He came closer and started to apply, asked me to look up while applying. Told me about their products, emphasized it’s mineral extracted from the Dead Sea. And claimed that it was the secret to the beauty of Cleopatra. And the products were organic and free from harmful ingredients like paraben etc. I had no clue who Cleopatra was and he explained that she was the ancient Egypt queen. He then asked me some questions regarding skin, mentioned because the skin of the eye area is only 2 layers as compare to other part of the face, asked if I knew why we had dark circles etc. Then he went over to the other counter and gotten a pack of gold eye mask, opened up and put one under my right eye. We chatted a bit. Then he scooped some gel and started applying on my left cheek. Oh dear I thought, it was not enough that my eye was under his control , now my face was also in his hand…

The gel that he was applying was the same Gold Peel that the saleslady applied for me earlier. He started rubbing the peel off my face and chatted briefly. He said the peel couldn’t remove pigmentation but can help delay the melanin production. Asian has more melanin. (He was educating me.) He then showed me a mirror telling me the pores were now tighter than the other side of the face. He also mentioned that the effect was like having botox. As he removed my eye mask and applied some eye serum over the eye, the balance he applied over his own eye. He told me he had just finished his facial this morning. That explained why he was washing his face earlier. I thought the sight was amusing and at the same time, I found him natural. I thought he didn’t want to waste the product. All this while, I took out my phone to look at the time few times and reminded him that I couldn’t stay long. Again, he pretended not to hear.

I asked about the price for the Peel during the demo, he said “170″. Towards the end of the demo, I asked him how much was the eye cream, he said “290″. He said he would do something very special for me, and he started walking to the cashier counter. He signalled me to follow, which was right next to the ‘electric chair’. Again, what a strategic position I thought. He took the Gold Peel, the Eye Cream, started keying various codes into the system, showed me the amount, said this and that etc  (seriously, I didn’t really listen exactly what he said. All I knew was that he was trying to make a combination and offer that was attractive enough for me to buy into.) He said he could do the discount and the saleslady couldn’t because he was the manager. I said: “I know”. He said again something along the same line to establish his authority and again I told him: “I know”. He knew who he was talking to now!

I remember he came up with a combination of Gold Peel (170), Eye Serum (330), Body Scrub (90), threw in 4 packets of eye mask worth (80) for a total of around 370+. Hmm… I told him it was out. I was only prepared to part with 200. The interesting thing he said was this: ” Only 200? You don’t have 500?” Funny enough I wasn’t offended for what he said. I just told him “No” and saw him finding ways to lower the bill amount. Then he came up with next combination which consisted of Peel, Eye Cream, Body Scrub, eye mask and the total was  280 + 7% GST (Goods & Services Tax) which came up to 299.6. I told him it was still out. And I asked for the Eye Serum instead (it was more expensive than the Cream), he thought I was making him difficult but I rationale with him that the cream was for eye bag and puffiness but my concern also included the oil seeds on my upper eyelids and the Serum was what I needed as compare to the cream. He thought it through and asked me for a hug. Throughout the negotiation process, he had given me 2-3 hugs. It probably made him feel more comfortable or he simply wanted me to feel warm or so. It was just natural of him. He asked me to recommend friends to the shop for the good price that he was giving me.

Eventually, he came up with a combination of Gold Peel, Eye Serum, a different tub of Body Salt which was of lower value compare to the Scrub (I supposed it was to offset the difference from the discount given), threw in the 4 packets of eye mask  for a total of the same amount 280 + 7%gst, total 299.6. On top of that, he threw in another Free Facial treatment (which was given only for purchases above 500, or so he said) at their facial centre, intended to make me feel privilege. He gotten me to key in my email address into the system to become a member and by doing so, I could enjoy the present price should it be increased in the future.

The amount still exceeded my stated budget of 200 but I decided to go ahead. I asked him for further discount and he said it would put him in difficult position. He mentioned something about his Manager Card but only if it’s for higher amount. I made payment. He asked what did I do for a living. I told him: “Homemaker”. His reaction was: “Nnooo!” Well, I took that as a compliment. I did asked him earlier on why he came into this line. He said he was passionate about it and he loved making ladies more beautiful! In fact, twice I told him “You are good!” By which I meant he was good at what he did but he didn’t acknowledge… and that made me wonder why?

Before I left, he went over to the soap bar counter (next to the exit / entrance) and offered to give me a bar of soap which was worth $18. He let me smell and chose my preferred fragrance, cut and wrapped it up for me. Before I left, we shook hands and said goodday.

**************************************************************************
What I learnt from this shopping experience:

1. First and foremost, the key to this sales process started with me because I took interest in the product. Remember I took the sample, strike up a conversation and seemed interested. So the saleslady seized the opportunity to bring me closer to the shop.
2. As I allowed her to apply the scrub on my palm, it gave her the opportunity to lead me into the shop. Having customer walked into the shop voluntarily is a sales worth pursuing and the chance of closing is high.
3. As I had no choice but to wash it off at the basin in the shop, it gave her the opportunity to introduce me more products and potentially closing a sales.
4. Trying the products allowing me to experience it firsthand and be convinced because they give instant results.
5. It takes experience to know what to look out for. In the case of the manager, he had been with the company for 3 years. 2 more years prior to that in Philippines. (I gotten this info during our brief conversation) So he has more experience as compare to the saleslady, whom I believe was quite new. He observed, identified the potential Hot Buttons and pushed them when deemed fit.
6. It takes commitment to close a deal. The manager, I believe was responsible for the sales of the outlet and was eager to close me. He probably had few ideas and plans in mind on how to work on me and hence his action taken. Towards the end of demo, he probably also had few figures in mind ranging from the highest possible closing amount with the products I tried to the lowest ‘tolerant’ he would go. That’s why the amount stayed at 299.6 with various combinations.
7. It always made me wonder if he would pass on his knowledge and experience from the success of this transaction to the saleslady so she can improve on her sales skill, which will in turn benefit the company. Something that she didn’t but he succeeded. So it’s good to learn.
8. Part of the reasons why the saleslady didn’t convince me was because she had some blemishes on her face. So naturally, I was sceptical. Also, she was not persuasive enough. So no deal.

My suggestions on how it can be done better:

1. Customer Service

• Making me standing at the walkway with green stuff on my palm not knowing what to do was not a pleasant experience. It should have been a smooth transition where step by step guidance are being given to potential customer on what needs to be done. Assume all customers are ignorant!
• It would have been great if the saleslady offered to help me with the shopping bag. It might have been a subtle gesture but it sure makes a difference.
• I would have preferred the manager to respond or at least acknowledge when I mentioned ‘I can’t stay long’ or ‘You are good’.

2. Sales

• It might be more convincing had the saleslady mentioned her own skin condition and how it got better after using the company products.
• Maybe some sharing of her personal experience with the various products, especially the ones that she was introducing to me would be helpful too.
• Pricing strategy – When I finally got the chance to look at the details on my bill, I was quite surprised. It said Gold Peel 170(-170), Eye Serum 330(-50), Salt 70(-70). And the Eye Serum was the only item with product code. Which means, technically I was paying just for the Serum with a discount and received the rest of items FOC. Which also meant to me the Peel and Salt were just compliments and not actually sales items, which I didn’t think was true. What I thought would be a better perception would be to price the products lower, have all items coded and give say 5-10% discount off the bill. Let say for the same scenario as above, now the new price for Peel is 110, Serum 180, Salt 40. By giving a 5% and with all freebies remain, the final bill may come up to 313.5 +7% gst. Should the customer decide to drop the Salt, then the final bill may come up to 275.5 +7% gst, ie. 294.8. This pricing, to me makes more sense and I can see the value of each product. By all means, with the ‘Manager Card’, give a further 5% discount to ‘this special customer’ and invite to join membership to enjoy future privileges.
• The company can also come up with more samples or small tub (Not For Sale) to be given only with purchases instead of giving away actual products. Customers usually will return if they like the products. Especially when they are good and able to give instant results.
• Oh yes, I did mention to the manager that the company should cut down cost on the fancy packaging and pass on the savings to customers! He didn’t reply to my satisfaction. So able to respond convincingly to such remark would be a bonus.

Having said all I said and to be fair and honest, I must admit I am quite happy with the products I invested so far and hope to return for more ‘Gold’ in the near future. And hopefully this round with even more freebies awaiting

It’s necessary to swear XYZ@#!%*& when you are angry, or is it?

How do you react when you are feeling angry or frustrated? Do you handle the situation and respond calmly or the first thing you do is to blow your top off (before you even realize you have done so)? Textbook tells us to ”Take a deep breath, slowly count 1, 2, 3… to 10, and speak calmly as you can”. Seriously, how many can actually remember to do this when things happen?? I, for one belongs to the latter most of the time when come to disciplining my children despite knowing what needs and should be done instead.

Yes, I think CONTROL is the key word. To be precise, it is to be IN CONTROL of my own mind and thus action, and not the other way round. First I need to be AWARE of my own thoughts. When unpleasing things happen, can I take a back step, hold my anger (and preferably count 1 to 10.. LOL) and feel how I am feeling now? If I am angry, upset, am I sober enough to ask WHY am I upset? Can I have a resolution with this feeling of being upset? I do feel guilty when I raise my voice and say things that I regret later. Especially to young children (my children are 7 and 3), they are sponges soaking in everything at this stage, I got to constantly remind myself this and to exercise some self-control ability so they can learn the virtue of self-control.

My daughter said something profound to me the other day which simply melted me and it was a great reminder. She said: “You didn’t angry with me at all when I was 1 or 2 years old. Why are you angry with me now??”

My questions to you my friends, how do you handle unpleasing situations? Are you REACTIVE or are you able to take a back step and RESPOND calmly to the situation? Why are you angry in the first place? Some have the habit of swearing ABC, XYZ@#!$%# when they feel frustrated or angry. Do you think it is necessary to swear? Does it mean you are more MAN when you swear? I have not sworn for a long time (yes, I confess I did that when I was much younger). Does it necessary make any difference? I don’t remember feeling any better by swearing.  In fact, it actually has a limiting effect to the subconscious mind.

I have witnessed first hand how my mentor handled and resolved extremely challenging situation by being calm. One thing I learnt from that incident was that, you got to first be calm and clear headed no matter what the other party says. It is a reciprocal effect. When you are calm, you speak at a calm, assuring tone, have eye to eye contact, stand at a comfortable arm length distance, respond calmly to whatever the other party have to say, he or she will slowly calm down as well. It takes skills, efforts, practice, and most importantly to me, courage and a willingness to inspire and making a difference. And when you achieve it, it is a breakthrough. On the other hand, anger begets anger. So the choice is in your hand.

I am still learning from my children everyday. They are my best teachers :)